Later this year, 343 will release the Halo: Master Chief Collection. At that point, I shall bid my wife a fond farewell, kiss the children goodbye and lock myself in a room for around six to eight months of hot, sweaty, Spartan action. Of course, that’s a while away yet and all this talk of Halo has me rather flustered, so to keep my mind and hands busy over the next few months I’ve come up with a cunning plan.

As I’ve mentioned in the past, I belong to a clan/guild/bunch of muppets called Team Active Camel, made up of assorted buddies of mine, including Insensitive Mind, Blameless Ninja, Miester 84, Big Fairy Queen and Silver Rayven. If you want to know how the hell the name came about, it’s been discussed in the podcast but I forget which episode so you’ll just have to listen to them all.

With the exception of Insensitive who lords his Halo Anniversary maxing over us at every opportunity, we all have achievements left to pop from each of the Halo titles. Of course, the Master Chief Collection will be launching with a tasty 4,000 gamerscore and I fully intend to rip every single point out of it, but those gaps in my achievement count from Halo 3, 4, Reach and ODST have been niggling at me for some time, not to mention Spartan Assault for Xbox One and the as yet untouched and unwanted, Halo Wars.

By now my Halo collection is positively screaming at me from the shelf. So it was that I found myself announcing my scheme…

ME: “Hey lads, I’ve got a fantastic idea”

NINJA: “We’ve told you before, naked mud wrestling is not the w-”

ME: “No, not that. How about, before the Master Chief Collection comes out, we try to max all of the previous Halo titles?”

FAIRY QUEEN: “I only have Halo 4 and Halo Reach”

ME: “Yeah, but we c-”

NINJA: “There are some achievements which I’m not all that keen on attempting, if I’m honest. I won’t enjoy it.”

ME: “Well yeah, that’s a fair p-”

MIESTER: “I’m missing some of the DLC for Halo 4, that’s a problem.”

ME: “OK sure, but asides from all of those issues, it’s a great idea! Right?”

INSENSITIVE: “I don’t do multiplayer, remember? Too many assholes online.”

RAYVEN: “I’m hardly online these days. Also, you smell of wee.”

ME: “Oh for fu-”

As you can see, everyone was thrilled to be a part of my plan. The wheels were now in motion and after scouting through the achievements list, myself, Ninja and Insensitive fired up Halo 3: ODST. Ninja and I both need just one achievement from ODST, the Vidmaster: Endure challenge which tasks us with passing the fourth set in Firefight on 4-player Heroic LIVE co-op. But before we could even consider attempting that, we needed three things:

1. Insensitive wanted to pull his last three Firefight score achievements
2. We needed to find a night when there were actually four of us online
3. Potent sedatives

Lacking a third player and a handy drug dealer, we opted to help Insensitive pull his score cheevos. The next three nights were spent in Firefight, beating Brutes about the head with gravhammers, giggling like loons as Grunt heads burst into confetti and letting out a little dribble of wee at every cry of “WRAAAAITH!!!”

Finally, it was done. The only thing I have left in Halo ODST is that sodding Vidmaster challenge. Four player co-op, Heroic difficulty, four sets of pant-wetting terror. Soon…

Stay tuned for regular updates from The Halo Wars and join Jamie and Team Active Camel in The Halo Wars as they blunder their way through a series of Halo achievements. Got some words of advice for the crew? Give us a shout on Twitter and Facebook.

Categories: Features, The Halo Wars

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