Top 5 Video Game Pirates

Posted by Ben Cordell 0 Comment

Today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day and in celebration we’ve listed our top five video game swashbucklers. These oceanic outlaws have shown time and time again that they are the cream of the corsair crop. Now, Polly wants a top five list…

5. Cervantes de Leon (Soul Calibur)

This Spanish sea-farer has been kicking arse all across the world since 1996 – his introduction in Soul Edge. Though his weapons have changed (now dual-wielding a longsword and freaking pistol-sword) Cervantes’ pirate exterior has remained a constant with a traditional pirate captain attire. This badass even has the Jolly Roger skull and crossbones on his boots!

4. Zack (Zack & Wiki)

No pirate loves a box full of booty more than Zack and he’ll do absolutely anything to get his hands on a tub of treasure. Often opting for brains over brawn, Zack is still a pretty deft hand with a blade and a fine asset to his pirate gang, The Sea Rabbits. A simple parrot sidekick won’t do for Zack either as he is accompanied by Wiki, an enchanted monkey who is also his best friend.

3. Captain Romulus Slag (Ratchet & Clank)

Captain Romulus Slag’s hands transform into hooks, hammers, and a grog mug that allows him to breathe fire. ‘Nuff said. No? More? Okay, he’s also known as The Scourge of Polaris and became captain of the space pirates by double-crossing and killing the previous captain, Angstrom Darkwater. This robo-pirate is all plunderer!

2. LeChuck (Monkey Island)

LeChuck is the stereotypical pirate inside and out and has the added bonus of being undead and seemingly impossible to kill. Since his debut in 1990, we’ve seen LeChuck as a human, a rotting zombie and a fiery demon and not once has he been swain from his tasks of claiming Elaine as his bride and ultimately defeating our number one video game pirate…

1. Guybrush Threepwood (Monkey Island)

Of course it’s Guybrush! The self-proclaimed “mighty pirate” has defeated an undead pirate captain again and again, is a champion of insult sword fighting (he’s got the t-shirt to prove it) and despite a mild-mannered exterior, will steal just about anything from anyone to complete his quests. He truly is the number one video game pirate.

Bonus facts!

Guybrush’s likes include piracy, sailing, sword-fighting, treasure hunting, money, treasure, Elaine, grog, wenches, writing, puzzle solving, fruit (especially bananas) and chess.

His dislikes include porcelain, LeChuck, any type of work besides puzzle solving and piracy, salads, math, school, tourists and tourist attractions and a miniature sword with an olive in his grogatini (later revealed to be one of the porcelain swords that the pirates “kept gagging on”, according to Grindstump, which is what Guybrush is afraid of).

Who are your favourite video game pirates? Have we missed anyone out? Let us know in the comments below!


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