It’s a New Year. A time of resolutions and, for some, just a few regrets. I have regrets.

Mostly, I regret the fact that my busy Christmas and New Year schedule led to my missing out on two of the Calendar Man dates from Arkham City. Yup.

I mean, I wrote that damned guide and then missed them! I was inconsolable, I can tell you.

So this week’s Achievement Punter is a look back at some other missed achievements. Kind of a “Let’s ‘ave a look at what you could have won” deal.

1) The Streak – Guitar Hero 5


I hate this finger fiddling achievement with a passion.

If you play Peter Frampton’s “Do You Feel Like We Do (Live)” on Easy, there are 1258 notes. On Easy. Doddle! I had several attempts at this one and asides from the one attempt where the sodding guitar batteries died, every single one of them ended the same way:

“Red. Blue. Red. Blue. Green. I might actually do th-RED! I SAID RED, YOU STUPID SAUSAGE FINGERS! WORTHLESS EXTREMETIES! DO IT AGAIN AND I SLAM YOU IN A DRAWER”

Come finish, I actually did slam my hand in a drawer as punishment. Turns out, that really hurts and does NOT make the achievement any easier to get.

2) Eyes And Ears – Call Of Duty 4 : Modern Warfare


29. That’s how many I’ve found. 29. Out of 30, of course.

I have covered the length and breadth of every level in that game and I cannot find that last piece of intel. Oh sure, there are guides a-plenty knocking about the internet but I won’t be happy until I’ve stumbled across it myself, weeping and war-torn.

At which point, I’ll probably eject the game and send it winging into the fire. Although not before one last shot at…

3) Mile High Club – Call Of Duty 4 : Modern Warfare


AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! Yeah, still at it.

4) Longevity Master – Viva Pinata


Don’t judge me. I dipped into Viva Pinata earlier this year, following more than one recommendation from fellow gamers. I got hooked.

I’ve done everything in this game. EVERYTHING! There is nothing left to do. All the achievements are done, with the single exception of Longevity Master. Play for 50 hours.

But as I said, I’ve done everything and I still have at least 20 hours of game time to pop this, so what am I supposed to do? Even filling a garden with small and fluffies and then setting the dragon on them is only amusing for the first hour.

One day, I swear, but for now Pinata will continue to gather dust and mock me from the shelf. Git.

5) A Monument To All Your Sins – Halo Reach


This is the biggy. I have tried and tried to get this achievement done and I simply cannot do it. Why? Life.

Oh I can rip Halo on Legendary with the best of them, done all the others quite happily, but every time I settle down for a little solo campaigning, life pops up and gets in the way.

So in 2012, this is getting done. Without fail. Certain time slots shall be set aside for Halo Reach campaigning and nothing, NOTHING, will interrupt me.

In fact, the following list details the few instances in which you can rouse me from my Spartan revelries:

A) A family member or dear friend in peril, suffering dire illness or in incredible emotional distress
B) Imminent apocalypse
C) Imminent cheesecake and/or jam roly poly
D) House fire. As long as the fire is raging through at least three rooms and one exit is already blocked.
E) Sex
F) The invention of the hoverboard.

Other than that, leave me be.

Here’s to another year of Achievement Punting!

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